I tried to calculate every numbers in my mind

I tried to remember every breath on my lungs

I tried to sing every song in my heart

With that,

Maybe I will know You better…

.

.

Is it true?

They said that God is like an energy

He can’t be created,

nor destroyed.

.

.

In every lesson I learned,

In every physics, biology, chemistry,

In every single cell on my body, every tissue, organ, organ system

I could feel Your Grace…

.

.

The galaxy rotated

The earth revoluted

With phi they moved, prayed

never stopped, no matter what!

.

.

And here I am, trying to pray with my own way

By solving my mathematics

By observing my biology

By counting my physics by reacting my chemistry

.

‘Cause with that,

maybe I will know You better…
.

.

The life’s vector still moving

Never stop

Time is running out!

.

.

And I…

.

collapsed on my sajadah…

completely forgot about everything

.

…and cried.

.

.

God…

I whispered.

Please hug me, I need You…

.

.

.

I tried to calculate every number in my mind

I tried to remember every breath on my lungs

I tried to spell You name

…slowly… but sure.

.

Maybe,

I will know You better….

.

.

.

.

.

In memory of  SMART 2007. gak tau deh saya seberapa ngaco bahasa inggrisnya, yang jelas catatan puisi ini saya temukan waktu lagi beres-beres di rumah.

.

dan ngingetin saya, astaghfirullah, saya belum belajar. saya jarang belajar. saya tidak belajar.

.

.

and where did my wish as a scientist gone? it’s become so hard to understand Your Words, Rabbi…

.

faghfirlii…

.

.

.



[come on, Jannah. you know you could do more, why just stand still?

cz it’s depends on you…]